day 138 into the way of my body

what happens outside shows the inside

my body wants stillness because my soul wants stillness

once i had a friend that was like a rock or a mountain, big, stable, unshakable. i loved him so much that i used to say he was God. he was an aquarius. i admired his warm detachment, his untight empathy

lately i’ve being feeling inside this peace that does not need nothing to happen or noone to care

but at some moments is like im afraid of such a power, such a distance, such a rare treasure

my daughter this morning told me that she felt kind of “guilty” because in her last math exam she had a 9 on 10 and her best friend a 7. What is needed to say is that she had suffered a lot of stress with maths lately, feeling inadequate, slow in comparison with her peers… we always say to her that we dont care about grades, that grades are not important nor permanent… so she wanted to say that to confort her friend… but she knew she wouldnt understand

i dont know how we think that bringing ourselves down we could help anybody… even if it hurts at first glance, seeing someone self satisfied within himself/herself eventually it becomes such an inspiration for the people around… so we shouldnt be ashamed to be happy for nothing specific… being content in ourselves and with our lives… but still there is this psyco bitch inside our minds that gets high on struggle, incertitude and other unbalanced mental states… thrills and troubles are like a hard drug… they keep you hooked

it is kind of amazing when you manage to get down your horse and understand that actually you dont have any problem to be solved by any one else, that you dont need any magic trick like this or that “external” improvement… you dont need nothing! we are made of the same self contained and blissful substance (consciousness) than the source of all reality, God… what else do we need!

like a mountain, silent , present, still… diamonds and gold hidden within… roots stones iron and coal… birds flying trees growing above… the sun the rain the wind on my skin