we spend most of our lives thinking and acting to fulfill our basic needs and desires, this is our automatic pilot mode, even if we try to strive for goals bigger than our own self interest we tend to fall back into the human default mentality of “what is in it for me”. Even when we give for the sake of giving, for example to our kids or our loved ones, we give with at least one condition: that they treat us back with kindness and gentleness, they must reciprocate our care and attention with some sort of “payment”… we tend to give nothing “for free”, even if what we ask in return is love, a thank you, a smile… we still apply a kind of economic model to our participation in life, our “investments” in someone or something must have a “profit” of some sort. And there it goes our ideal of unconditional love down the toilet…
The basic problem is that we feel entitled to something, like life ows us something, like the whole world ows us something. I should have had a good childhood, loving parents, good health, i should be treated we respect, care and attention by the people around me, i should have material support and security, etc, etc… And there we can see clearly the root of the problem: our self centerness. im such a good person, such a gentle, caring, loving soul… but the rest of the world is against me and it never gives me what i want and need… after all im just asking for a little bit of reciprocity here, right?
well, no. When you fall into this kind of mindset you are wrong all along.
we are just like a tiny cell in a enourmous gigantic in-imaginable infinite being which is the whole of all what there is / god, and we only exist in relation to this much much much greater and bigger “picture”. if we keep zooming in into our self, our life, our needs, our problems… we keep forgetting this basic truth. And i dont mean by that, that we should give up self reflexion (or self care), because that is the only tool we have to actually get ride of our selfcenterness, even if it seems like a loop hole… The problem with self reflexion is when you can not zoom out and see that all your efforts must go oriented to understand the role you play into this whole and how you can contribute to it more consciously and constantly.
if we could understand this deeply enough and practice it daily, in every action and thought, maybe… maybe… we would realize that actually selfcenterness is frikking exhausting, it wears us out… and that actually selfcenterness is the most probable cause of our decay and final death… at the end, we get tired of this body and our little battles and dramas in this life time… but the essential problem goes on to the next life… because we keep being ignorant and blind to the fact that the root of me is beyond me myself and i… the root of me is a person that is strangely the truest part of me and at the same time the root of everyone else and everything that exists.
it seems almost like a riddle. but actually is pretty simple. i am not the center. i am just a part in the mist of billions of trillions of zillions of other parts of a greater being that is infinite and still has a form, a personality and a will to enjoy. so we SHOULD act accordingly, we should play our role (being who we are, doing what we have to do) not constantly thinking on our own tiny belly button, but acting always for the sake of the whole, trying to please others instead of only pleasing ourselves, and ultimately trying to please the supreme being, acting for god’s enjoyment.
it is simple, and yet… it takes probably hundreds or thousands of life times to begin to live up to this ideal. and still we can do it. so at least, let’s start trying!